This poem, by Elan Mudrow
via Naming Creeks
This poem, by Elan Mudrow
via Naming Creeks
“Tell me where it doesn’t hurt”, he thought, responding to the tiny little Devil that took so much glee in the addition of a new type of torment to his litany of pains.
Try as he might to avoid it, through repetitive exercise, daily long walks, zero substance abuse, and careful eating, that little bastard with the pitchfork would always give him something new to complicate his daily existence.
Not a religious person, he nevertheless thought “God knows my sins. It is said that he knows everything that is in my heart. And, after all, I am wrong to complain, because my brother died at a young age, and never got to live this long. I should instead be properly grateful, and face this with courage and perseverance. But it is so hard, Lord.”
All of these things he thought while lying prone on his nice soft bed, after a hot Epsom salt bath. He reveled in the gradual cooling of his body and the slowing of his pounding heart. Through the open door, he could hear the insistent blurting of the television in the living room, and ticked off his mental catalogue of what would probably be on: an endless variety of beat-the-clock type shows designed to produce artificial suspense or hilarity….scripted bonhomie on a grand scale. Failing that, it might be the predictable tear jerker spectacles (all true, and not set up, of course)….someone gets kicked off a competition and tearfully explains why they still think they are a good person, and they are proud that they did their best, etc. Or, some family with many problems with illness and finances gets picked out of the blue to receive a brand new home and fifty thousand in the bank. We know what happens next….everyone cries, including the soft audience who can’t help but eat it up.
“What a goddamn cynic I am”, he thought. “But, it’s all about money, isn’t it? And, what better way to make it than by feeding this stuff to us simpletons?”
What comes to him next are some song lyrics that aptly sprang to his mind, relative to his disdain for the television……John Lennon calling it “The one-eyed witch doctor leading the blind”, and, from the Sounds of Silence by Simon and Garfunkel, “the people bowed and prayed to the neon God they made”.
And, finally, from the same song, “The words of the Prophets are written on the subway walls, and tenement halls, and whispered in the sounds of silence”.
This he had thought of many times of late, and it gave him a sense of abandonment, and of the state of our world. We have no Prophets, and we do need one soon.
It’s all out of tune
now, notes
melting into minor keys,
fifths, diminished.
Down they go,
as if dribbling south
on cold glass.
Sweated,
unredeemable.
what is this
…always falling.
falsity and frivolity stream upwards,
lost like facebook hearts and angry faces.
…all that remains is the bitter kernel of truth,
like a poisoned stone in a festered stomach.
“Oh, this is learning.”, I say.
“Yes, you are learning”, says a voice.
I ascribe qualities to you,
person in the small circle.
I know it’s naive,
perhaps stupid.
I don’t know you,
or why you’re here.
If you’re real,
or if you have the courage of your convictions.
But, you do make me laugh.
And think.
And care.
I want to believe.
I do, you know.
May it be
that I don’t merit
your respect
because I’ve never raised a hand
to you
(’cause they say, you know,
there are some who only understand force)
that I seldom refuse your mundane wants,
your idle and unnecessary requests
that are meant to test the waters
that I am absorbed with two of the three R’s
and do not smile on cue.
and, that I take social sabbaticals too often.
You could be singing that old Bonnie Rait song,
and I am sorry, yes I am,
but I never could read your mind.
I do receive them still,
though more infrequently
and, I suspect,
from those who love company.
In days of yore,
some did the brazen dance of plumage,
seeking only to stir up mischief,
I think.
To think otherwise would be self serving,
do you know?
Though once, the bedside phone rang at 2 a.m.
and an invitation was extended and rejected.
I am an upstanding citizen,
do you know?
Collarbone’s valley.
Shoulder of diffidence.
The swish of those pleats.
Hose with taupe toes.
Ill-fitting pumps.
The lure of suggested innocence,
with the surety of hidden wiles,
for miles and miles and miles.
whiskers are self-aware
we think
they train themselves
and have a care
and so avoid the sink
the sharpest razor
surest hand
might catch them in the pink
but the smarty ones
just bend, don’t stand
and miss the poet’s ink.
Bones.
Things that balloon
or are meaty.
Some swollen.
Sore sinews,
feeble signals.
The living pain.
Where is redress?
Where is forgive?
We hang
in the balance.