Category Archives: Uncategorized

30: Nightmarish (a shot in the dark)…may offend.

With planned barbarism they came.
Safety in numbers.
Their eyes as dead as a Great White’s.
Jittering on their hair triggers.
Never questioning the barked orders of their commanders.
My house of precious ones scream from their interrupted sleep.
Boots on the floor doom doom.
Screams cut short by gagging sounds. Ballistic noise.
And I, with rebellious heart, 
try to find courage, think of action. Too late.
With fists of iron they drag us outside
under sputtering streetlamps.
Multitudes of scarcely-known neighbors 
in lines on the night time street,
crying, shouting, begging.
Random rifle reports,
not warnings.  People fall.
The squeaky wheels got the grease.
And I am trying to calm down,
hugging my own
with emotion scarcely shown
until this night.
“You are the father?”,
one of these brutes says.
“Come here.  Stand here.”
The shark eyes look into mine,
and my only thoughts, 
my last thoughts,
are “why such black automated hate?”
“does he not see me?”
“I am a person”.
SMACK.  He hits me in the cheekbone with his gun,
and I stumble, bleeding.
The children scream and try to help me up.
That is a mistake, for they do not want you up.
But I stand stupidly.
Brute puts his hand under my chin, and tilts my head back.
And then, and then.
There’s a bang and I fall in my turn.
My teeth shattered, hole through my palate and on and on.
I swallow and swallow, but there’s too much.
Why.
Why.

Gehenna

A word whispered by winter’s ghost
in last night’s dream of loss.

Gehenna

So foreign to this man,
it held a portent.

This evening,
as he sweeps winter’s leavings from his tilted deck,
Gehenna echos back to him in a latent sigh.

He and his Margie. Gone these two years.
The deep ravine behind their home.
Its choked and bubbling stream.
The shopping carts, beer bottles, stinking refuse, dirty mattresses.

Once, there were many cherries there.
Flashing, one night.
Yellow tape.
Hushed bystanders.
Part of a person had been found.
He and Margie had stayed in their own yard.

On a night in the spring of ’17, Margie didn’t come home from work.
Margie didn’t call.
Margie was never found.
Margie wasn’t heard from again.

The ghost of winter had a voice of chill.
Tonight, as it sighed the same syllables,
a thrill of knowing made him drop to his knees in the twilight.

Margie.

Gehenna.

***

Art work by Theophile Steinlen – Chat au Claire de Lune  (from Pinterest)

Jigsaw

What is this, my friend?

You, the one who never makes plans,
have cobbled this one together
from the remnants of the morning.

You really shouldn’t be left alone,
you know,
but it was with relish that you contemplated an afternoon of dead rest,
owing to their shopping and a movie plans.

Out the doorway they shuffled,
with rearward glances and catcalls of false regret
that you were under the weather.
You smiled slyly and pushed the door up.
There.

One cup of hot freshly ground coffee.
One lazyboy that the cats have owned for a long time.
Fresh batteries in the remote,
good stories on Netflix.
None of those shoot ’em up, blow ’em up, car-chasing, teeny bopper,
obscene stand-up comic kinds of pictures.

Said cats are sorely pissed that you have had the temerity to take their chair,
but they settle in, seeming to recognize that this is your day.
Plus, you have cheezies, and that seals the deal.

Now for something calming and easy to digest.
A romantic comedy?
Nah, too contrived.
A documentary on whales?
Seen one, seen ’em all.
Horror?
It took you ten years to get over the last one you saw.

This is cynicism 101, you know, right?

The two fuzz buddies settle down,
and take turns licking your orange fingers.

A half hour later,
while you’re still scrolling through movies as if you were playing the slots,
something heavy wells up from within you.
No reason.  No reason.
The puzzle of your life, so carefully fitted,
has lost its connectedness.
Higgledy-piggledy, topsy-turvy.
There’s that old familiar throat tightness.
Those ball bearings you’ve gotta swallow,
and you do it.
Even here, you do it.
Even here, alone, you struggle for control,
but pools of your tears darken your shirt of pastel blue.

The felines somehow sense this sadness.
They creep up your shoulders and nuzzle your ears with their purrs.
And you can touch them.
You can hold them.
You can cry it out until they are wet and want to lick the salt.
Never would you let anyone see this.

By eight o’clock you are composed,
redness and puffiness gone.

You are hoping they hurry home.

The way out

Cable-carried am I,
upslope,
in harness.
Slow. It is slow.
I hear the rollercoaster clacks,
each prophesying sinister thrills.
With powered eyes I see
continents of fogged-in secrets.
Sorry horses stand, bedraggled in streaming rains.
They look to me with pleading eyes,
but I have no help to give.
Clack, clack, clack…..a sharp turn.
The dream veils are dropped,
and it is bright cooking sun.
Beetles of football size float by with a helicopter buzz.
At my left hand, now, is a rail of brass.
From it hang leather pouches,
each containing an object of obscure purpose.
Now a can of grease.
Now a pair of winged sandals.
Sunglasses with upside-down arms.
I see now that my left hand holds a red stop button,
and I press it.
The rippling tinkle sound of a taut chain relaxing.
I do not wish to leave items that I might need,
but I don’t know what to take.
I pick up a red phone, hung from a post.
Its rotary dial says “phone a friend”.
I say hello.
Someone in a cackling voice says
“We are all mad here”, and hangs up.
I decide that the items in the pouches are false bait.
There’s a tin pedal at my foot,
like the ones in bumper cars.
I step on it, and move on.
My path drops away, suddenly downslope,
and I feel a release from the ratcheting chain.
I am speeding now, in full panic.
There are three rushing rivers at the end of my Zip line.
Within arms’ reach, there is a lever with three positions available.
I try it, but it does nothing yet.
There’s a brake pedal too, and I jam it as hard as I can.
I smell the smoking steel, memories of subways long ago.
Once more, I am at a crawl, coming to the end of the line and the rushing waters.
There is one last leather pouch.
It holds a pair of stout cutters, and I take them.
Out of track, now.
Feet dangling, I hang from an overhead derrick.
I try my lever again.
It moves me over the gateways of each water.
Cockeyed conifers point to the left hand way.
On a ledge, above the right hand river,
a rainy horse.
I shift the lever, then cut the cord.
The water is warm,
and oh so sleepy.

Haraview Burgers and highway 11

I’ve been making trips to north central Ontario for nearly 50 years, almost all of them via highway 11.  During that time, I have passed by a curious anomaly that remains to this day:  A burger place that was in business for a short time in the early to mid seventies.  It shut down after two to three years, I think, but was never demolished or replaced by another business.  On the contrary, all of its signs still remain in good repair, and the building itself has not been allowed to deteriorate.  Within the last couple of years, it’s been graced with a new paint job (true to original colours), and occasionally shows signs of occupation.

For the back story to this, and some pictures, visit https://secret-lifeof.com/2018/07/16/haraview-burgers/

I have stopped there a couple of times, but have not seen anyone about.  I plan to try once more, and soon, as several readers have exhibited curiosity about it and one person in particular has offered his own excellent theory as to its history.  He also requested that if I knew anything further, or could give him any kind of a back story relating to the area, he would appreciate it.  And so, here goes:

In the early 70’s, a group consisting of myself and a few friends began camping on the weekends at a secluded resort by the name of Kahshe Motel and Trailer Park.  It was just a few minutes up the highway from Haraview.  On the highway between these two locations was a restaurant known as The Suomi.  It was there that I met the girl who was to be my future wife.  She was a waitress, and, unbeknownst to me, was staying in a cabin at Kahshe.  I will spare you the details until another time, but will simply say that we were married within three months of meeting each other.  She left her job there, and we made our first home in Mississauga.  That was nearly 43 years ago.

In the first years of our marriage, we returned occasionally to Kahshe and camped there, for the park was still beautiful and well kept and we had some fond memories of it.  Some years after that, The Suomi Restaurant changed hands, and became The Grand.  Sadly, within a very short time, a gas leak caused the whole building to explode.  It was completely demolished.  No one was hurt, as it was closed at the time.

Many businesses have come and gone along the highway during those forty odd years.  The Sundial restaurant was always a favourite.  It was shuttered for many years, but has been rebuilt and opened up under new ownership.  For a long time, highway 11 was not divided, and businesses were more prosperous, being as they got traffic from both directions.  But, with increasing volume, the undivided highway became the site of many terrible crashes resulting from vehicles attempting to make left turns.  And so, the barriers went up.  I am sure that lives were saved, but sadly some of the highway businesses did not survive.

As to Haraview Burgers, my plan is to stop there once again, and, if no one is about, I will leave a prepared note to the owners, letting them know that I have written somewhat of a story about the place, and giving them my contact details in case they see fit to communicate.

Thanks for reading, and I will be sure to publish any updates as I receive them.

 

The affair

I feel possessed when you come ’round.
Vampire of my affections
that I save, unknowingly,
to cast, as pearls.
Lost upon you?
So nervous you are.
Just a touch makes a static spark,
and you jump back, mistrustful.
I hold out to you my right hand,
and slowly shutter my eyes
in token of obeisance.
I may, I think, know the art
that is needed to quiet your qualms.
A studied gentleness of touch.
An equal and opposite reaction
to your fickle withdrawals or to your nuzzlings.
As I stop my strokings,
your almond eyes register their displeasure.
I feel a petulant bite.

See you later, alligator.

No tuna for you tonight.